Active listening, sometimes called effective listening, is an important soft skill. The ability to listen – really listen – to what people are saying can improve your success in job interviews and your relationships in life. And with a bit of practice, you can become a skilled active listener.
So how exactly do you do that?
Here are a few things you need to practice in your conversations to be an active listener:
- Focus on the person who’s talking to you. Whether it’s a hiring manager in an interview, your boss in a job or a friend you have a disagreement with, pay full attention to what they’re saying. Don’t spend the time daydreaming or thinking about your response.
- Pause before you speak. Rather than planning what you’re going to say while they’re talking to you, take a moment to get your thoughts together after they’re done and before responding.
- Don’t just listen with your ears. It’s also important to pay attention to their body language, the way they respond to you in a nonverbal way.
- Make eye contact. While there are many theories about eye contact, most experts agree that you should make eye contact with the person you’re talking to somewhere between 50 percent and 70 percent of the time. You can gently look away toward the side in between looking the person in the eye. But don’t let your gaze wander around the room or rest on other people.
- Use non-verbal cues. Nodding your head, or saying “hmm, hmm,” can be an effective way to show someone that you are engaged in the conversation.
- Remember to smile. A smile can indicate you like what they say. And it may make them feel good to know that you seem to enjoy talking to them.
- Pay attention to facial expressions. If the person seems sad, happy, angry or confused, take note and respond accordingly. Also pay attention to your own facial expressions, and make sure they appear to be positive.
- Keep an open mind. Don’t let prejudices influence what you’re hearing. Try to understand where the speaker is coming from.
- Ask open-ended questions. This shows you are interested in what the person is saying and want to know more. Instead of asking, “Do you enjoy working here?” you might ask “What do you enjoy most about working here?”
- Paraphrase. Paraphrase what the person said to make sure you understood them correctly. For example, you might say, “So if I’m hearing you correctly, prior experience in the exact role isn’t the main priority. You’re more interested in whether the person has the right skills for the job. Ist that right?”
- Be patient. Sit quietly and allow them to have enough time to say what they want to say. Pause before responding to make sure they are finished.
- Never interrupt. Interrupting is considered bad manners. Wait until the person stops what they’re saying, and pause for a moment before you begin to speak.
Becoming an active listener takes practice. But once you develop the skill, you will see how it can positively affect your relationships, including the people you encounter in your job search and the bosses and coworkers you will work with in the future.
